From the June 9, 2023 issue of the Transformational Times
Navigating Transitions
Teresa Patitucci, PhD
Dr. Patitucci, a gifted teacher and gifted artist, lends her words and her voice in this essay about the hard times and resilience, concluding with the affirmation that, "we can do hard things."
I talk to my amygdala. As an anatomist and decades-long cognitive behavioral therapy participant, I like to imagine my prefrontal cortex driving my mental car, and my amygdala as a loud-mouthed brat who heckles me from the back seat. Over time, I learned to pay close attention to my emotions -- what am I feeling (positive or negative), what situation am I in right now, and what is my body trying to tell me with that signal? I can tell you that nothing will make that little chatterbox leap into my lap to take the wheel faster than a transition.
I’ve been through many transitions over the last few years in both my personal and professional life: my first year teaching, trying to run an in-person anatomy course during a pandemic, and getting divorced, to name a few. In these situations, screaming at my amygdala to shut up has not helped. She’s scared and needs calm reassurance. The key for my survival during these times is to control what I can, stay curious, enlist the help of others around me, and trust myself to adapt.
“This is too scary, everything is out of control,” she cries. Change is scary and yes, friend, it’s going to be hard. I will need to be extra patient because everything just takes more time and energy during a big change. I try to stay oriented to things within my limited control and let go of the rest. Things in my control may be super difficult, but I can anticipate what I need to make it through: stock up on waterproof mascara, fill my anti-anxiety prescription, alert my support system, make a to-do list, schedule time for stillness. I can sketch out some realistic expectations to help me stay focused on where I’m trying to go and take slow, steady steps onward.
“You don’t know what you’re doing,” she repeats over and over. By definition of changing, we leave behind what we know. I may frequently find myself stumped, but rather than badgering myself for my shortcomings, I can stay curious and trust myself to find the answers. Depending on the situation, I may try to find answers from reliable sources like books or asking others, but often, there is no “right answer” to be found outside myself. Removing the pressure of having the right answer opens the door for curiosity, allowing my mind the freedom to wonder and experiment. It gives me space to play and even have some fun.
“You’re screwing everything up,” she screams. Is that true? I frequently pause to think about how things have gone so far. In these moments of stillness, I tend to bumps and bruises or honor challenges I’ve overcome. I also enlist those I trust to provide honest feedback. Their new perspectives create a clearer view of the big picture around me, pointing out my blind spots. I can take all this input into consideration, make my own judgements, celebrate how I’ve grown, and decide how I want to adapt moving forward.
I thank my amygdala for trying to keep us safe and reassure her that we will be ok. We will not be the same on the other side of this change, but aren’t we so curious to see what we will transform into next?
Singing seems to soothe my amygdala. Here is what’s currently on our mental soundtrack…
Cover of “We Can Do Hard Things” by Tish Melton
I hit rock bottom, it felt like a brand-new start.
I’m not the problem, sometimes things fall apart.
And I continued to believe the best people are free.
And it took some time, but I’m finally fine.
‘Cause we're adventurers and heartbreak's our map
A final destination we lack
We stopped asking directions
To places they've never been.
And to be loved, we need to be known.
We'll finally find our way back home.
And through the joy and pain that our lives bring,
We can do hard things.
Teresa Patitucci, PhD, is an Associate Professor in the Department of Cell Biology, Neurobiology and Anatomy, serving as a full-time educator at MCW, primarily in the anatomical sciences. She is currently Course Director for multiple courses across the medical and graduate school and holds several committee leadership positions, including Chair of the CEC M1/M2 Subcommittee and M1/M2 Course Directors & Coordinators. As an individual, she values creativity in all its forms, whether that means novel approaches to engage learners, drawing, or singing to her amygdala.