From the 4/16/2021 newsletter
Poetry
Rhea Martin
Dear America
I wish I felt loved by you.
I wish I felt safe being with you.
I wish I could trust the promises of hope and progress you keep saying will come.
I wish I felt safe being with you.
I wish I could trust the promises of hope and progress you keep saying will come.
Like any love
It is not perfect
There is beauty as well as sorrow
To give unconditional love means to have trust
I wish I could trust you America
But I can’t
It is not perfect
There is beauty as well as sorrow
To give unconditional love means to have trust
I wish I could trust you America
But I can’t
and what’s worse
Is that it breaks my heart to see that people are trying
beautiful, strong, devoted people fight for you
And maybe I’m not strong enough to give
That trust
Is that it breaks my heart to see that people are trying
beautiful, strong, devoted people fight for you
And maybe I’m not strong enough to give
That trust
That doesn’t mean you are hopeless
Or less beautiful and vibrant and passionate
Nor is anywhere else going to be perfect
I’m not naive to expect more than what can be given within the current climate
But maybe we just don’t fit
and that’s ok
I wish nothing but the best for you
Or less beautiful and vibrant and passionate
Nor is anywhere else going to be perfect
I’m not naive to expect more than what can be given within the current climate
But maybe we just don’t fit
and that’s ok
I wish nothing but the best for you
To the man who almost ran me over today
Who didn’t stop
Who didn’t look back
To the witnesses who walked away
To the police that drove around my neighborhood pretending to look out for the community
Who didn’t stop
Who didn’t look back
To the witnesses who walked away
To the police that drove around my neighborhood pretending to look out for the community
How dare you have the audacity to put the words “Black Lives Matter” in your yards
and in your windows
and bumper stickers on your cars
and in your windows
and bumper stickers on your cars
To the one POC who witnessed what happened and gave me a ride home and said
Thank you for doing the decent, human thing
Thank you for doing the decent, human thing
“Thank god you had good reflexes”
I know it is not a crime to be
A women
Queer
Or Black
A women
Queer
Or Black
But America
Stop gaslighting me
America
Being with you it’s like being with an alcoholic
I don’t know whether to be pessimistic or optimistic that recovery is in your future
There are so many programs and so many resources
Your casual slurs and liveliness at parties used to be fun
And I know I can be easily accused of not being virtuous enough to see you through and see you get better
I feel like it is on my back to make it my responsibility for you to get better
I don’t know whether to be pessimistic or optimistic that recovery is in your future
There are so many programs and so many resources
Your casual slurs and liveliness at parties used to be fun
And I know I can be easily accused of not being virtuous enough to see you through and see you get better
I feel like it is on my back to make it my responsibility for you to get better
You have made it so many people's responsibility to call you out on your history and your lack of transparency of your habits habits you keep and how you destroy communities
But you are like my family
I would not be who I am without you
To have criticism does not mean I don’t see you for who you are
More
So much more than a simple word
A moment
A feeling
I get so mad when others treat me better
Because I want to feel that love and acceptance
from you
But you are like my family
I would not be who I am without you
To have criticism does not mean I don’t see you for who you are
More
So much more than a simple word
A moment
A feeling
I get so mad when others treat me better
Because I want to feel that love and acceptance
from you
Show me I can believe in you
I want to trust you
I want to trust you
I want to walk down the street and feel safe
As a queer
Black
Women
I google, safest places to live In America
Then I remember
Back space
Safest places for black queer women to live in America
Because there is a difference
As a queer
Black
Women
I google, safest places to live In America
Then I remember
Back space
Safest places for black queer women to live in America
Because there is a difference
Am I the problem
And I the problem in this relationship?
You shrug your shoulders
And I guess it depends
And I the problem in this relationship?
You shrug your shoulders
And I guess it depends
What am I wearing
Where are you from
Did I say what I said the right way
Do I care too much?
Are you on your period?
Are my standards a little bit too high
Where are you from
Did I say what I said the right way
Do I care too much?
Are you on your period?
Are my standards a little bit too high
I don’t know
But I’ll keeping working on things that are in my control
I am still standing today
I know about us right now, let’s take a break
But I’ll keeping working on things that are in my control
I am still standing today
I know about us right now, let’s take a break
Rhea Martin is a Public Ally with Public Allies MKE and an Intern with the MCW Office of Diversity and Inclusion. Rhea reflects on their relationship with America as a queer person of color. This work was shared during the Spring 2021 MedMoth event at MCW.
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