Pediatricians Offer Reflections on Parenting

From the June 16, 2023 issue of the Transformational Times - Father's Day

 

Pediatricians Offer Reflections on Parenting

Parents often seek more from pediatricians than medical advice. Reassurance, practical wisdom, and empowerment are important, too. TT Copy Editor Karen Herzog asked MCW faculty members Heather Toth, MD and Stephen Malcom, MD for their best parenting advice, and culled a few gems from two famous pediatrician-authors, including one bit of wisdom for pediatricians…

Heather Toth, MD, FACP, FAAP, SFHM, Program Director of the Internal Medicine-Pediatrics Residency Program at MCW, Professor and Hospitalist in the Departments of Medicine and Pediatrics, and Vice-Chief of Pediatric Hospital Medicine.

This advice was shared by our first-grade teacher and has stuck with me even now that my kids are teenagers: 

"Know your children’s friends’ parents and stay close with them." As we know, it "takes a village" to raise children and embrace all of them with love!

Steve Malcom, MD, FAAP, FACP, Associate Program Director of the Internal Medicine & Pediatrics Residency Program and Adjunct Associate Professor of Internal Medicine and Pediatrics at MCW. 

The piece of advice I share with my families in clinic the most is regarding children ages 1 to 3½. In this age range, the child loves you unconditionally as a parent, but they don’t care about you as a human being:

They don’t care about your health, house, relationship, career, the amount of sleep you get or if you are having a good or a bad day. They want what they want and that’s it.

Very important to remember with this age group is to never hit and try not to yell.  Just set boundaries, utilize timeouts, walk away from the tantrums, and praise all the good moments of sharing and kindness.

At 3 ½ years of age, something magical happens and their empathy grows a little bit each day.

 

Benjamin Spock, MD (1903-1998), pediatrician and author:

Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do.

The child supplies the power, but the parents have to do the steering.

T. Berry Brazelton, MD (1918-2018), pediatrician, author, and developer of the Brazelton Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale

Parents don’t make mistakes because they don’t care, but because they care so deeply.

Every time you give a parent a sense of success or of empowerment, you’re offering it to the baby indirectly. Because every time a parent looks at that baby and says, "Oh, you’re so wonderful," that baby just bursts with feeling good about themselves.